Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

The nine-armed octopus and the oddities of the cephalopod nervous system - Ars Technica

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Rocket Report: SpaceX’s 500th Falcon launch; why did UK’s Reaction Engines fail? - Ars Technica

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I can read

Drake Maye “starting to find a stride” in Patriots’ new offense - NBC Sports

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

How can you determine if your therapist has crossed professional boundaries and become too emotionally invested in your relationship as a patient/client?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

How Elon Musk Is Reinventing Tesla’s Strategy - WSJ

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I can count

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

What are the legal obligations of a new homeowner if the previous owner leaves furniture in the house after moving out?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I understand how hurricane paths work

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

If gays can get married, why can't I marry my dog or a cheeseburger?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

How can AI help interior designers?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Apple details the end of Intel Mac support and a phaseout for Rosetta 2 - Ars Technica

I have complete contempt for fakery

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

‘The Studio’ and ‘Hacks’ Are Two of the Best Shows Ever About Hollywood — But Are They Too Inside or PTSD-Inducing? - Variety

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

This Nutrient May Help Lower Your Stroke Risk by 36%, New Study Says - EatingWell

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

How do you know when someone really loves you?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

What does it feel like wearing tights?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Summer Game Fest releases hype trailer ahead of weekend of reveals - Eurogamer

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I actually pay taxes

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I see through liars

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”